On The Lighter Side

A man died and went to heaven. As he stood in front of St.Peter at
the Pearly Gates, he saw a huge wall of clocks behind him.
He asked, "What are all those clocks?"
St. Peter answered, "Those are Lie-Clocks. Everyone on earth has a
Lie-Clock. Every time you lie the hands on your clock will move.
"Oh," said the man, "Whose clock is that?"
That's Nelson Mandela's. The hands have never moved, indicating that
he never told a lie.
"Incredible," said the man. "And whose clock is that one?
"St. Peter responded," That's Abraham Lincoln's clock. The hands
have moved twice, telling us that Abe told only two lies in his entire life.
"Where's John Kerry's clock?" asked the man.
"John Kerry's clock is in Jesus' office. He's using it as a ceiling fan."