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Maries Two Cents

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July 25, 2008

Feed Shark Turbo Tagger

Even The Brit's Mock Obama, The Messiah

This is just to good not to post.



And it came to pass, in the eighth year of the reign of the evil Bush the Younger (The Ignorant), when the whole land from the Arabian desert to the shores of the Great Lakes had been laid barren, that a Child appeared in the wilderness.

The Child was blessed in looks and intellect. Scion of a simple family, offspring of a miraculous union, grandson of a typical white person and an African peasant. And yea, as he grew, the Child walked in the path of righteousness, with only the occasional detour into the odd weed and a little blow.

When he was twelve years old, they found him in the temple in the City of Chicago, arguing the finer points of community organisation with the Prophet Jeremiah and the Elders. And the Elders were astonished at what they heard and said among themselves: “Verily, who is this Child that he opens our hearts and minds to the audacity of hope?”

In the great Battles of Caucus and Primary he smote the conniving Hillary, wife of the deposed King Bill the Priapic and their barbarian hordes of Working Class Whites.

And so it was, in the fullness of time, before the harvest month of the appointed year, the Child ventured forth - for the first time - to bring the light unto all the world.

He travelled fleet of foot and light of camel, with a small retinue that consisted only of his loyal disciples from the tribe of the Media. He ventured first to the land of the Hindu Kush, where the

Taleban had harboured the viper of al-Qaeda in their bosom, raining terror on all the world.

And the Child spake and the tribes of Nato immediately loosed the Caveats that had previously bound them. And in the great battle that ensued the forces of the light were triumphant. For as long as the Child stood with his arms raised aloft, the enemy suffered great blows and the threat of terror was no more.

From there he went forth to Mesopotamia where he was received by the great ruler al-Maliki, and al-Maliki spake unto him and blessed his Sixteen Month Troop Withdrawal Plan even as the imperial warrior Petraeus tried to destroy it.

And lo, in Mesopotamia, a miracle occurred. Even though the Great Surge of Armour that the evil Bush had ordered had been a terrible mistake, a waste of vital military resources and doomed to end in disaster, the Child's very presence suddenly brought forth a great victory for the forces of the light.

And the Persians, who saw all this and were greatly fearful, longed to speak with the Child and saw that the Child was the bringer of peace. At the mention of his name they quickly laid aside their intrigues and beat their uranium swords into civil nuclear energy ploughshares.

From there the Child went up to the city of Jerusalem, and entered through the gate seated on an ass. The crowds of network anchors who had followed him from afar cheered “Hosanna” and waved great palm fronds and strewed them at his feet.

In Jerusalem and in surrounding Palestine, the Child spake to the Hebrews and the Arabs, as the Scripture had foretold. And in an instant, the lion lay down with the lamb, and the Israelites and Ishmaelites ended their long enmity and lived for ever after in peace.

As word spread throughout the land about the Child's wondrous works, peoples from all over flocked to hear him; Hittites and Abbasids; Obamacons and McCainiacs; Cameroonians and Blairites.

And they told of strange and wondrous things that greeted the news of the Child's journey. Around the world, global temperatures began to decline, and the ocean levels fell and the great warming was over.

The Great Prophet Algore of Nobel and Oscar, who many had believed was the anointed one, smiled and told his followers that the Child was the one generations had been waiting for.

And there were other wonderful signs. In the city of the Street at the Wall, spreads on interbank interest rates dropped like manna from Heaven and rates on credit default swaps fell to the ground as dead birds from the almond tree, and the people who had lived in foreclosure were able to borrow again.

Black gold gushed from the ground at prices well below $140 per barrel. In hospitals across the land the sick were cured even though they were uninsured. And all because the Child had pronounced it.

And this is the testimony of one who speaks the truth and bears witness to the truth so that you might believe. And he knows it is the truth for he saw it all on CNN and the BBC and in the pages of The New York Times.

Then the Child ventured forth from Israel and Palestine and stepped onto the shores of the Old Continent. In the land of Queen Angela of Merkel, vast multitudes gathered to hear his voice, and he preached to them at length.

But when he had finished speaking his disciples told him the crowd was hungry, for they had had nothing to eat all the hours they had waited for him.

And so the Child told his disciples to fetch some food but all they had was five loaves and a couple of frankfurters. So he took the bread and the frankfurters and blessed them and told his disciples to feed the multitudes. And when all had eaten their fill, the scraps filled twelve baskets.

Thence he travelled west to Mount Sarkozy. Even the beauteous Princess Carla of the tribe of the Bruni was struck by awe and she was great in love with the Child, but he was tempted not.

On the Seventh Day he walked across the Channel of the Angles to the ancient land of the hooligans. There he was welcomed with open arms by the once great prophet Blair and his successor, Gordon the Leper, and his successor, David the Golden One.

And suddenly, with the men appeared the archangel Gabriel and the whole host of the heavenly choir, ranks of cherubim and seraphim, all praising God and singing: “Yes, We Can.”

Story Here

LOL! They even see what I'm seeing in the UK. Holly Molly, what an election!

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Blogger Gayle said...

I came over to see what words of wisdom you had today. This is great! I read it this morning. It's pure satire at it's best. The New Yorker could take lessons! LOL!

July 25, 2008 12:23 PM  
Blogger Marie's Two Cents said...


I could NOT pass this one up it's to hillarious!

Obama is going to be the Messiah, there is a halo, turbin, and an Israeli head thingy (I forget what you call them)upon his head!

All we need now is for him to proclaim he is the second coming of Allah and he has it all sewn up!

I say we just swear him in as President as soon as he lands back on America soil.

Let's just skip the election and get it over with lol

July 25, 2008 11:32 PM  
Blogger A.C. McCloud said...

I've never seen anyone do this before--acting like he's the president on a foreign trip. He might as well have gone ahead and pardoned the Thanksgiving Turkey.

July 26, 2008 9:57 AM  
Blogger The Liberal Lie The Conservative Truth said...

Marie it proves that there are a few sane people in Europe who actually like the US and see Obama for the jackass that he is!

July 27, 2008 8:28 AM  
Blogger BB-Idaho said...

Heh, kind of a King James Version tale. ..for Behold, they shall call him candidate, spat upon, smitten and reviled by those that
hear him not; his followers give thanks with great joyous song. And lo, there came forth in the land a second candidate to meet and give battle and the land was rent with those that heard him not and those that heard the tidings with great joy; and they shall call the two blessed or cursed, be they for or against for the elephant shall not lie down with the donkey. And so, yea, verily, it was written and came to pass....:)

July 27, 2008 9:38 AM  
Blogger WomanHonorThyself said...

I posted on the Messiah wanna be too Marie..heh :)

July 27, 2008 4:52 PM  
Blogger Marie's Two Cents said...


I was quite shocked myself.

Pardoned the Thanksgiving Turkey LOL!


So True! You know the crowds that came (Supposedly) to see Obama? Guess what? There was a concert before Obama took the stage for his grand speech LOL.

They were'nt all there to see Obama they were there to see the concert!

This is the second time this has happened and the drive by's make it look like they ALL came to see Obama! LMAO!


That was good LOL


I'm outa here for a few day's but I will try like heck to get around to all your blogs before I go, or at least when I come back :-)

July 28, 2008 12:35 PM  

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